ModGentMan » Guiding the Modern GentlemanModGentMan

The ModGentMan as the New Guy At Work

by ModGentMan Posted on January 3, 2012

Being the new guy at work is not easy. You have not yet established yourself in your new environment and have not yet made any meaningful work relationships. You enter into a jungle with only a machete and have to fight the harsh terrain comprised of your new coworkers, the preexisting hierarchy and company culture.

The spotlight is on you from the moment you walk in the door. You are the new guy that has to prove himself and will be labeled “the new guy” until the next one appears. Questions like “who is he?” “Is he any good?” “Where did he come from?” and “What’s his name again?” “will be asked. First impressions can often make or break your career at a new company.

The modgentman understands the rules of starting a new job and abides by them until he has cemented himself in the new role. Here are some basic modentman guidelines to follow when you find yourself in a new place of employment.

The modgentman puts his head down , stays quiet and works. This is the first opportunity to show that you are a hardworker that produces quality. If you are initially perceived as a person that is lazy, ignorant or just plain stupid it would take an act of God to disspell that first image.
The modgentman listens and learns from everyone around him – As the new guy you do not know who to listen to and who to avoid and you have not been there long enough to know the ins and outs of the company. Seize this opportunity to listen and learn from everything and everyone around you.
The modgentman does not send mass communications – You’re the new guy, what could you possibly have to communicate to the entire company? Unless you’re the new CEO do not send mass emails.
The modgentman limits the sarcasm – Sarcasm is one of those things that can easily get you into trouble if you’re not careful. People that know you and your style will know your joking and people that don’t will look at you like you’re an idiot. Do not make sarcastic remarks in meetings, in discussions or emails. You have not earned that privilege. Refer to the first bullet point for more clarification.
The modgentman does not flirt with his coworkers as the new guy- There will be attractive women at your new place of employment but you have to limit the flirting and romantic adventures until you’ve built some rapport with your coworkers.
The modgentman does not become the weird new guy – The weird new guy is the new guy that weird’s out all his new coworkers. He invites himself to non-company related events. He makes weird comments on conversations that happen around him that make his coworkers very uncomfortable.

Breaking any of the above rules translates into a very difficult introductory phase at your new job. Break them at your own peril. Being the new guy at work is hard enough. There is no need to make it more difficult on you or your coworkers.

What rules would you add for a modgentman in a new place of employment?

Warning: call_user_func_array() [function.call-user-func-array]: First argument is expected to be a valid callback, 'brunelleschi_rel_cagegory_fix' was given in /home/content/43/8491543/html/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 170
Posted in | 3 Comments

Modern Gentleman Rules for Thanksgiving Festivities

by ModGentMan Posted on November 23, 2011

For a holiday that’s characterized by the amount and variety of food one eats, there are still rules that a modern gentleman adheres to during Thanksgiving festivities.

A Modern Gentleman does not over eat

A modern gentleman does not keep eating and eating on any occasion not just Thanksgiving. Over eating is not a sign of manliness but a sign of gluttony and lack of self-control. A modern gentleman understands the limits of his stomach and does not push that boundary.

A Modern Gentleman does not unbutton his pants

See above.

Unbuttoning your pants is beyond unacceptable. It’s the ultimate sign of disrespect for yourself, your family and others present.

A Modern Gentleman does not use the phrases food baby, food coma

These phrases are elementary and have no use in a modern gentleman’s vocabulary. These phrases have no meaning.

A Modern Gentleman dresses appropriately, not in sweatpants.

A modern gentleman always dresses his best and Thanksgiving is no exception. A ModGentMan can be casual where casual is a nice pair of jeans paired with a nice buttoned-down shirt or polo. A modern gentleman does not dress in sweatpants or athletic wear for a special function.

A Modern Gentleman brings a dish or housewarming gift.

When invited, a modern gentleman never enters a house empty handed especially on a holiday. He always comes prepared with either a dish or housewarming gift.

A Modern Gentleman does not get into arguments with family members

Thanksgiving is a time where families come together which is never without drama. There will be comments and discussions started that are not easy to accept but a modern gentleman never gets involved. He respects those present, and the household of those who invited him and does not get caught into worthless discussions. Excusing oneself and taking a breather outside or in a different room is a simple solution when a modern gentleman is getting annoyed by those around him.

What Thanksgiving Day rules would you add for a ModGentMan?

Happy Thanksgiving!

The Difference Adding A Tie To My Daily Attire Made

by ModGentMan Posted on November 17, 2011

Three weeks ago, I made the decision to begin wearing a tie at work.

My company requires business attire which means different things to different people but to me it meant slacks and a buttoned up shirt. As my clothing was consistent, I thought to myself why not add a tie and step it up a notch. After all, its the same slacks and shirts, just adding an felt accessory around my neck.

A tie makes a difference.

Since I was the only one wearing ties in the office, everyone noticed to the point that in a morning meeting, our boss commented at how nice I looked. (Again, I was thinking to myself it’s the same clothes just added a tie) The comments continued throughout the day, the week and continued into the following week. People were asking if I was interviewing somewhere else (like I would admit to that), and inquiring about the occasion that required a tie. People asking if this was a one-time thing or going to be consistent. There were people that wanted to jump on board the tie train, and did even if it was for one day, and others who wanted to but didn’t for their own reasons.

My answer was consistent: No occasion just decided to add a tie to my daily attire and yes it was going to be a consistent thing.

It was very interesting to me that one piece of clothing made such a difference in perception. Maybe it was due to the sudden change. Maybe it was something different and no one else was doing it. Maybe adding a tie, by choice, to otherwise standard attire really improves your appearance.

I prefer to think it was the latter.

A ModGentMan takes the extra step and improves his appearance as much as he can no matter how small the addition.

Why a Modern Gentleman Should Have Good Taste in Women’s Clothing?

by ModGentMan Posted on November 4, 2011

This was guest post written by a young woman that, growing up with three brothers, has seen the good and bad of a ModGentMan @manalhadi

I had the opportunity, some would call it misfortune, of growing up with three older brothers and no sister. I had to master the art of applying makeup, accessorizing, dressing appropriately, and simply expanding my feminine horizon.

It was a challenge to develop as in individual away from my brothers, and oftentimes very lonely. However, I had three modern gentlemen that came to my rescue on multiple occasions. Without their advice I would have stepped out in….well more or less disastrous attire.

I speak from experience when I say the modern gentleman must indeed have (good) taste in women’s clothing.

I certainly do not regard a man with well-rounded fashion sense as fruity or homosexual, just in possession of uncommon knowledge.

Speaking to a modern gentleman from a woman’s perspective, you will win major brownie points with your special lady if she receives well-chosen remarks on her latest shopping spree. Keep in mind to keep it constructive, especially if she didn’t ask in the first place; no need to be a know-it-all.

As from a man’s perspective, I’m sure the modern gentleman‘s friends will become envious when the women in his life rank high on best dressed lists.

A modern gentleman knows how to show his lady he’s interested in her activities and appearance.

ModGentMan – Guiding the Modern Gentleman in a Chaotic and Demanding World.

Be sure to Like Us on Facebook and Follow Us on Twitter.

ModGentMan is a community effort. If you would like to help guide the modern gentleman, contact us at ask@modgentman.com

Your Father is the First Modern Gentleman You Know

by ModGentMan Posted on November 1, 2011

Today at work, we received news that a coworker’s father lost his 15 year battle with Parkinson’s disease. Needless to say a blanket of sadness fell on the entire office.

I immediately thought of my father and called him at the first opportunity. I don’t often call my Dad and talk to him through out the day and even he was a bit surprised. I told him that I was just thinking about him, checking on him and told him I loved him and prayed for his health.

I fought back tears talking to my father, as to not alarm him, but as soon as the phone clicked I couldn’t hold it in.

We take our fathers for granted.

Fathers are the first modern gentlemen we know. We watch them shave. We watch them drive. We play sports with them. We look at how they’re dressed. We try on their ties and hobble around in their shoes. We take their advice on women and watch how they interact with our moms. We look at their careers and listen to their stories.

As time passes, we become our own men and detach ourselves from our fathers.

Today, and everyday, as a modern gentleman, remember your father as the first modern gentleman that you knew.

A Modern Gentleman and Keeping Friends and Sustaining Friendships

by ModGentMan Posted on October 27, 2011

A modern gentleman is a very social person. He builds quality relationships everywhere he goes. He has friends at work, friends he went to college with, friends he grew up with, friends at the gym and friends online.

As a modern gentleman builds his network and accumulates many friends and acquaintances it becomes more and more difficult to sustain these quality relationships over long periods of time. It has nothing to do with love or hate but people evolve and change as their lives change.

So how does a modern gentleman sustain friendships?

1) He Prioritizes – Frankly, not every friendship is created equal. Depending on the length of time, the trust, the experiences shared and how the friendship developed initially are all factors in the amount of energy that must be put-in to keep the friendship going.

A modern gentleman must look at each friendship and understand if that friendship is worth keeping. If it is he then looks at how often he must contact and the type of contact that is required. Depending on the relationship some friends you talk to daily, others, weekly, monthly or even yearly. It is important to understand which friends are more important in your life.

2) He Sets Aside Time – It’s easy for a modern gentleman to get so involved in his work and home-life that he easily ignores his friends, no matter the quality of the friendship.

A modern gentleman sets aside special blocks of time in his life to spend with his friends. A cup of coffee, a dinner, a movie or night out can mean keeping a friend or losing him. The more time thats allowed to pass the more the relationship deteriorates.

3) He Uses All Methods of Communication - It’s easier than ever to keep in contact with a friend. From social networks and email to the phone calls or text messages, a modern gentleman uses these tools to keep his friends.

For some friends, a Facebook wall post or text message asking how they are is sufficient but others require a more personal message like a phone call or in-person visit is required. The quality of the friendship determines the means of communication.

In a demanding world, it is easy to lose touch with friends. A modern gentleman understands that friends are valuable and not easily replaced. He makes a conscious effort to sustain his friendships as long as possible, if not his entire life.

How do you sustain friendships over time?

ModGentMan – Guiding the Modern Gentleman in a Chaotic and Demanding World.

Be sure to Like Us on Facebook and Follow Us on Twitter.

ModGentMan is a community effort. If you would like to help guide the modern gentleman, contact us at ask@modgentman.com

What a Modern Gentleman Can Learn from Reed Hastings – CEO of Netflix

by ModGentMan Posted on October 25, 2011

At the writing of this post, Netflix reportedly lost 800,000 subscribers, the stock is plummeting and customers are jumping ship.

Amid the Netflix turmoil there is one lesson to be learned from Reed Hastings, the Netflix CEO.

How to accept criticism.

On September 18, 2011, Hastings sent out a mass email to his subscribers with the following first two sentences: “I messed up. I owe everyone an explanation.”

This was after the customer outrage at the price increase. In this email, Hastings also outlined the separation of Netflix streaming service and DVD service and naming the latter Qwikster.

Then came the second customer outrage. Not only were customers still upset at the price increase, they were now objecting the separation of services and labeling it with an elementary name and attaching an ugly logo.

Weeks later…Netflix cancelled the scheduled separation of services.

I have never seen a CEO of a large company with $7 billion market cap send out a public apology to all his customers acknowledging his mistake. What makes it even better is weeks later Hastings, although not publicly, admitted his second mistake by rescinding his executive decision and not separating the service offerings.

Some may argue that Hasting’s apology was a publicity stunt, a marketing tactic, not a real apology but another gimmick by a Wall Street company.

My argument… So? Even if it was all of the above, Hasting’s did not have to sign his name at the end of the email. He did not have to cancel the Qwikster decision and could have easily continued the separation and see the results.

Reed Hastings accepted the endless criticism, listened to his customers and answered numerous questions about his decisions.

A modern gentleman accepts criticism and listens to his customers, his employees, his family and loved ones. He takes the criticism, publicly or privately, with an open heart and then takes that criticism and adds it to the equation when he makes his next decision.

ModGentMan – Guiding the Modern Gentleman in a Chaotic and Demanding World.

Be sure to Like Us on Facebook and Follow Us on Twitter.

ModGentMan is a community effort. If you would like to help guide the modern gentleman, contact us at ask@modgentman.com

Why A Modern Gentleman Needs to Wear a Watch

by ModGentMan Posted on October 20, 2011

There has been an obvious decline in the wearing of watches. There are many contributing factors to the decline of watches and can mainly be attributed to the ability to see the time on every device, everywhere.

This makes me sad. Very Sad.

The watch is the most essential men’s accessory for one main reason: men don’t have very many accessories to choose from. Necklaces and bracelets are predominantly women’s accessories although there are exceptions which I will cover later. A modern gentleman never wears earrings, nose rings, tongue rings or any other (insert body part here) ring.

That leaves the watch. The watch is the most widely accepted men’s accessory in a category with very limited options.

A watch gives a man a sense of:

Style – the right watch paired with the right apparel is men’s style at its best
Control – A man that wears a watch is in control of his own destiny. He cannot control time but he can control how he spends his time. Wearing a watch on his wrist makes time an extension of his body, keeping him aware of the precious seconds that tick away.
Confidence – there is no weaker excuse than “I didn’t know what time it was.”

The most common reason for not wearing a watch is “I don’t need one. I have my cellphone.” Really? You’d rather dig around in your pocket, pull out your phone and push a button that lights up to tell the time instead of wearing a watch?

A modern gentleman wears a watch.

ModGentMan – Guiding the Modern Gentleman in a Chaotic and Demanding World.

Be sure to Like Us on Facebook and Follow Us on Twitter.

ModGentMan is a community effort. If you would like to help guide the modern gentleman, contact us at ask@modgentman.com

The Modern Gentleman and the Dangers of Overextension

by ModGentMan Posted on October 18, 2011

During the Motley Fool Market podcast, which I listen to during my morning commute, they interviewed best-selling author Jim Collins about his new book Great by Choice: Uncertainty Chaos and Luck—Why Some Thrive Despite Them All.

In his book, Collins tells the story of the great race to the South Pole by Roald Amundson and Robert Scott in 1911. Amundson’s party safely made it to the South Pole and back while Scott’s party perished during the expedition. According to Collins, Scott’s party perished for one main reason – they overextended themselves.

At a crucial point of the expedition, Amundson was 45 miles away from the South Pole but instead of overextending himself and attempting to cover the entire distance in one day, he made the decision of traveling only 17 miles and saving the rest for the next day, conserving supplies, energy and his crew. Even though it was a race, Amundson made a strategic decision to go slower yet still ended up winning. Scott’s party, on the other-hand, attempted to cover too much mileage burning through supplies and not considering the return trip which they never made.

As I was listening to this story, I thought to myself how dangerous it is to overextend yourself. In a continuously connected world, where a man is pulled in multiple directions from every source imaginable it is easy to make the mistake that Scott made in his expedition.

I was often guilty in trying to do too much, trying to complete many projects in addition to my job and education. The ending result was numerous incomplete projects, barely making it through school and getting burnt out at work. I have learned my lessons in time-management, prioritizing and making the correct strategic decisions that would keep me from being my own worst enemy by overextending myself.

The modern gentleman understands his abilities and never overextends himself greater than what he can manage and control. He makes strategic decisions that take any project or task from the beginning phases to completion and fruition. The modern gentleman understands the dangers of overextension.

ModGentMan – Guiding the Modern Gentleman in a Chaotic and Demanding World.

Be sure to Like Us on Facebook and Follow Us on Twitter.

ModGentMan is a community effort. If you would like to help guide the modern gentleman, contact us at ask@modgentman.com

The Simplest Style Rule – Match Your Socks, Belt and Shoes

by ModGentMan Posted on October 17, 2011

This simple style rule should have been engrained in our minds from the first time we wore shoes, belts and socks as new born children by our parents.

You would think that a simple rule like this would be very easy to follow, automatic. Surprisingly, I see this rule broken all the time at work, at the mall, at the grocery store and even formal dinners and gatherings.

Brown shoes need a brown belt and matching socks.

Black shoes need a black belt with matching socks.

I see brown shoes with black socks, black shoes with white socks, black shoes with a brown belt and other incorrect combinations.

What is it that makes a man forget or worse ignore this easy bit of style.

Could it be laziness as in too lazy to look for the right socks? If thats the case then there are bigger problems at hand.

Could it be that white socks are more comfortable? Unless you have plantar faciitis, you need to man up and get some real dress socks. There are black and brown cotton thick socks with enough support if you really need the cushion.

Could it be lack of money to buy the appropriate socks? Appropriate socks can be bought at Wal-Mart for $5 or if you’re really strained for money the local resale store will have used pairs that you can wash and use. (A recurring theme in this blog is you don’t need money to be stylish)

Could it be lack of education on the correct sock, belt, shoe pairing? That very well could be the case but if you’re reading this blog then you are now informed and no longer have that excuse.

Whatever the reason maybe, a modern gentleman matches his shoes with his belt socks. Period.

ModGentMan – Guiding the Modern Gentleman in a Chaotic and Demanding World.

Be sure to Like Us on Facebook and Follow Us on Twitter.

ModGentMan is a community effort. If you would like to help guide the modern gentleman, contact us at ask@modgentman.com